Working vs. Staying at Home

When I first found out I was pregnant with James I had just recently been promoted to a leadership position at my job. Now THAT was stressful. There was so much to learn and yet so much going on in my personal life because of my pregnancy and I didn’t want any of that to affect my new position. I worried a lot about everything and I had the biggest fear that my water was going to break in the office! HAHA! But none of that happened and everything was fine. I managed and everything went great! Then, after what seemed like eternity James was born and I was off of work for 8 weeks due to delivering via cesarean section and let me tell you, I don’t know how many times I was asked whether I was going to return to work or not. Like really? Is that an option?

For me it really wasn’t. I knew I was returning to work. That was the plan from the very beginning. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be a stay at home mom to spend more time with James, but with a grown daughter in college, it just wasn’t in the play books!

While I was on maternity leave I counted the days until it was time for me to return back to work. The first weeks I had Adam with me since he was able to take off of work also and that was such a blessing. He was there for me 100% and I don’t know what I would have done without him. This made those first few weeks wonderful but I still worried constantly about returning to work. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to get enough sleep because James would be up 3-4 times a night. I worried that my milk supply would drop since I wouldn’t be able to pump as much while at work. I worried about having James at daycare and having to pick him up after work. I worried about being home with him in the evenings during the week. I worried SOOOO much. About EVERYTHING!

Once I did go back to work, I’m not going to lie, it was hard. I never truly sympathized with my coworkers who had to return back to work after being on maternity leave because I never had to experience this myself. I was a fake sympathizer! What a bastard I was!! Now I feel it. It is hard. I totally understand the feeling of missing your child 9-5. I miss mine so much I don’t know how many times I sneak peaks at my phone just to look at the snapshots I took of James the day before. And when my husband sends me pics of James during the day, whoa what a treat!!

Point is, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. My scenario is far from unique and being a working mom is not something that has never been done before. I think of all the working moms I know and how they are making it work and it is so comforting to know that we are all in this together. I don’t know how many times I have turned to my fellow working moms with questions or concerns, even if I already knew the answer somewhat. But what a comfort they were. They truly motivate me and make me feel so much better. We all miss our children when we are away, but we are mama bears and we are doing it all for our little cubs.

If you are a new mom and about to return to work my advice is to try not to worry. I know what you are thinking, “YEAH RIGHT”!!! I would say don’t worry at all period but I know that’s pretty much impossible. But in all seriousness, look to your fellow working moms for advice and support. They know best and can totally relate to what you are going through. Another suggestion would be to join a working mom forum. It’s a great place to get other perspectives and can be a great support system for you when you transition back to work!

Being a mom is a job that never ends. It has its ups and downs and is the craziest adventure ride you will ever go on. When you’re a working mom, the adventure ride gets even crazier. But just remember you are not alone and that you are a SUPER WOMAN! And that as working moms, we have each other’s backs!

Is there anything that you do to cope with being away from your little one while you are away at work? Please share them below! I would love to get new ideas!

One other tip I just need to throw in here: If you are able to, hang pictures of your little one up in your work space. I look up into James’s precious little face daily while I’m at work and it always brings me so much comfort.

pic-of-james-at-work

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20 Comments

  • Reply Tess

    My little one is 6 weeks… and if I were to be returning to work it would be right around now. I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE HOW HARD IT MUST BE! I chose to give up my corporate leadership position and stay home (hard decision!) but it’s what worked best for us and I’m so grateful and glad that I did. You are a super hero!

    October 10, 2016 at 8:44 pm
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      Thank you! It is so hard! I miss him so much every day! You’re very fortunate to be able to stay home with your little one!

      October 10, 2016 at 10:54 pm
  • Reply candy

    I went back to work for awhile decided to stay home. Went back to work after they begged me to come back. Then decided I didn’t want anyone else raising my kids but me. Never looked back best decision I ever made. It isn’t for everyone.

    October 11, 2016 at 8:19 pm
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      I so wish I could do that….I hate feeling like I’m missing out on all his special moments!

      October 11, 2016 at 11:55 pm
  • Reply Sydnie

    Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I’m not a mom, but I can imagine it must be so hard. Reaching out to other working moms seems like great advice, and you could even make some really good friends by doing that, since you’re all going through a similar situation.

    October 11, 2016 at 9:11 pm
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      Yes, it’s nice to have other people going through the same thing you are! It’s a great support system!

      October 11, 2016 at 11:55 pm
  • Reply JenuineMom (Jennifer Marx)

    I work from home, and I had to return to working at home a week after my son was born. It’s a different situation from yours, but it was equally hard. But, like you, I survived it!! Thank you for sharing your perspective. I think it’s so important for us to see things through others’ eyes.

    October 11, 2016 at 9:13 pm
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      I understand…I have the ability to work from home as well, and have done so on days he has doctors appointments and it is hard too!

      October 11, 2016 at 11:57 pm
  • Reply Annabella

    Cheers to all super mamas! I can just imagine how hard it is for you not seeing your baby from 9-5. I tried getting back to work during my first but it wasn’t really a good option for me since I can’t leave my baby with a nanny we barely know. But it was the best decision I made back then. 🙂

    October 11, 2016 at 11:44 pm
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      I wish I could just stay at home with my little one and not work! LOL!!

      October 11, 2016 at 11:58 pm
  • Reply Kate

    I can’t even imagine how hard that must be! My husband and I don’t have children yet. I am busy building a business so I can work from home to try to have the freedom to set my own schedule when little ones do come. Here’s hoping it works! I so admire women like you who make working and parenthood both a priority!

    October 12, 2016 at 1:25 am
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      Best of luck to you!

      October 12, 2016 at 2:13 am
  • Reply Idriss

    Thank you for sharing this lovely story. I imagine it must be hard to go back to work and leave this little angel at home.

    October 12, 2016 at 1:50 am
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      It is very difficult at times! But I manage! 🙂

      October 12, 2016 at 2:14 am
  • Reply Christine - Jar Of Lemons

    This is such great advice. I can’t imagine how tough it would be to have to go back. Way to go! You’re completely right, you’re a super mom!

    October 12, 2016 at 2:21 am
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      Thank you! 🙂

      October 12, 2016 at 9:44 am
  • Reply Bridget

    Thanks for sharing. I think going back to work is probably one of the toughest things a mom has to do.

    October 12, 2016 at 12:24 pm
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      It really is! But a mom has to do what a mom has to do!

      October 12, 2016 at 11:41 pm
  • Reply Elizabeth Ann

    I am fortunate enough to not need to work a 9-5 job. I am so thankful that I get to be home with my child. I teach a couple of group exercise classes at our local YMCA and I miss my little girl so much and I’m only gone for an hour and a half at most. I commend you for rocking a 9-5 AND being a mom. I can only imagine how tough it is. Keep it up!!

    October 12, 2016 at 7:17 pm
    • Reply onemorebusymom@gmail.com

      Thanks! 🙂

      October 12, 2016 at 11:42 pm

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